A Bride, Her Tests & Her Testimony

I haven't posted to this blog in YEARS. Life has evolved in so many ways and I continue to grow from the crazy experiences that make me say "uh oh," the funny experiences that make me say "ha ha," and the many "ah ha" moments that make me wiser.

The latest "ah ha" moment came as a result of my marriage to an amazing man three weeks ago. It is one that I had to post...

Warning: It is quite long. I pray that those who take the time to read it are blessed and God is glorified.

--

Deisha's Testimony

Everyone who knows me knows how I feel about my parents. They weren't perfect, still they were amazing people - college sweethearts who were married for over 30 years and were great examples and influences for me and my brothers (and many others) in so many ways. I thank God for giving me to them and for the wonderful friendships I had with them every day. As far as I'm concerned, they both had far too little time here on earth, but Heaven gained greatly when God called each of them home.

My dad passed nearly 10 years ago when I was 24. My mom passed just last September - I got engaged the very next day… My honey had asked my mom for my hand in marriage two weeks earlier and was trying to get to her house to surprise us both by popping the question. He was scheduled to get there around 8p in the evening - my mom passed around 10a that morning.

So, I never considered myself your typical bride to be. My situation was quite different. While I was so grateful that God had answered prayers for a mate (when I was least expecting), celebrating was the furthest thing from my mind. I was grieving, I was planning a funeral for my very best friend, I was trying to understand “why?” I was dealing with estate issues in NJ while I live in Arkansas, my younger brother was on drugs and in jail, the list goes on. The weight of the world, it seemed, was on my shoulders and I was so upset with God... So many people around me thought I should be happy and giddy about an engagement ring, about being a bride, about planning a wedding and trying on dresses. I thought... No one can relate.

But, God…

The days and months passed, and we set a date -- because I really did want to get married to the oh-so-handsome man of my dreams. However, I refused to have bridesmaids or more than 10 people at our ceremony. I was only okay with having a party, not a “reception” to celebrate our love. I bought my wedding dress online and tried to avoid anything that seemed “traditional” because I wasn’t a “traditional bride” – my mom wasn’t here to help me pick flowers, my dad wasn’t here to walk me down the aisle and I had resolved that there was no way I would avoid being sad on what was supposed to be a happy day. I was prepared to be a crying/grieving mess throughout the process.

But, GOD…

Earlier this week, I was reminded of God’s promise to restore the years that we sow in tears (Psalm 126) and I am, once again, a witness that our God keeps His promises!

We decided that we would honor my parents and Rashidi’s dad who passed in 2000 in happy ways throughout our special day. I popped my parent’s picture into a locket that I attached to my bouquet, so in addition to them being with me in spirit and in my heart, they both walked down the aisle with me. We made a donation to CAU's scholarship fund in our parents’ memory instead of buying favors. Rashidi’s brother held his dad’s hat while we said our vows. We used the 1970 cake topper from my parents wedding cake, and they were shouted out during toasts from friends and family. I was happy because we honored them in such appropriate ways.

But, more than anything…

October 22 was about celebrating the love that me and my, now, husband share! As much as I thought the day would be sad, I wasn't moved to tears once during the ceremony or during the celebration -- I just couldn't stop smiling! I have NEVER danced so hard in my entire life. I laughed so hard that my abs ached the next day. I was on cloud 99!!!! My sweet girls/sister friends and family did everything in their power to make me feel like the most special bride EVER. And, having so many of our friends and loved ones in the same room giving off so much love and happiness for us was icing on the cake! Rashidi and I both had the times of our lives – we haven’t been able to stop talking about it.

And, to top it all off, my younger brother, who has gone to rehab and has been drug-free for almost nine months (praise God) was able to be a part of our day / delivered an amazing toast. And, I have been blessed with a mother in law who loves me like I am the daughter she never had.

To say I am thankful and feel abundantly blessed seems like an understatement. We serve an awesome God who is, truly, worthy to be praised!!

I am a witness that although life’s trials come – and sometimes seem to come to stay (accompanied by many tears, lots of frustration and headache-causing stress), there is power in prayer – whether from your own lips or from children of God who intercede when you can’t pray for yourself. Joy DOES come in the morning!

Those who sow with tears DO reap with songs of joy!

Giving all praise and honor to my God who has done exceedingly, abundantly above what I could have asked or thought. He has restored me!

Psalm 126
1 When the LORD restored the fortunes of[a] Zion,
we were like those who dreamed.[b]
2 Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
“The LORD has done great things for them.”
3 The LORD has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.
4 Restore our fortunes,[c] LORD,
like streams in the Negev.
5 Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
6 Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them.

Photos from our day:
http://alexgibbsphotos.com/Blog/?p=1910%5D

I had no idea I could post to my blog via email!! So....since I've somewhat taken a year off to adjust to the new gig, natural state, etc...this is a test to see if email blogging might get me back on the track of regular "uh oh, hehe, ah ha" commentary.

There will be no deep thinking this go-round. Just a simple test to be sure the technology actually works from my Treo...to my blog...to you. :)

Be tech-savvy. Be blessed.

Broken Promises... (hehe)

I really try to be a woman of my word, but sometimes life gets in the way. I last posted MONTHS ago, promising to be back the following week at the same time and same place. Well... nearly two months have passed... God's plan has been at work... I saw, with my own two eyes, the results of speaking things that aren't as though they are... I've relocated from one "A" to another... I put the blog on pause, but started a brand new chapter of life in the "natural state."

But, in an attempt to put the broken promise back together... here are my quick thoughts on the Imus thing. I know it's late, but take a quick read. You probably hadn't thought of it this way:

Since when do white people even KNOW to call a sister (or brother) "nappy-headed"??

LOL!! For real! I have plenty of caucasian friends -- I always have (going back to pre-school when my mom would scream at me for letting blonde-hair, blue-eyed Dawn make my pony tails stick up), so please don't take this the wrong way. The fact is, I had never in my life heard a caucasian refer to an African-American as "nappy-headed" -- let alone call a chick a "nappy-headed-you know what." So, before I could even get with the idea that it was "wrong" for a SHOCK JOCK (a title which intelligent people know indicates a specialty in saying things that will SHOCK) to use that phrase in a country that prides itself in freedom of speech -- before I could even take time to come up with my point of view on that one, I was struck by how ODD it was that he even KNEW the phrase "nappy-headed."

Who the heck taught this white dude (who, himself, has nappy hair, btw) -- who the heck taught him that phrase?!?!!?

Well, I immediately thought of a former colleague who lacked melanin (i.e. she would probably check the box that says "white") but dreamt of the day she could tell somebody to "kiss her black a$$." Yes, you heard it right. A white woman heard me use that phrase. She could see the calming affect that overcame me after those words left my lips. BUT, since her a$$ is nowhere near black, she could only dream of the day when she could, in a state of frustration in the work place, mumble under her breath: "kiss my black a$$!!"

In my mind's eye...

I can see Imus kicking it with his homies (i.e. a group of predominantly black men). They might have been in some nasty bar (because that's where he looks like he might hang out) and some hoochie-mama looking woman walked by. Imus heard his friends laugh and talk about said hoochie's appearance. They kept calling her a "nappy-headed you know what." At first he didn't get it, but then he put the phrase in context and eventually joined in laughing at the hoochie. Later, he took his tail home, having learned a new phrase that he might be able to SHOCK someone with one day.

Fast forward to the now infamous day during the women's NCAA tourney... Imus had a flash back of the nappy-headed hoochie in the nasty bar, proceeded to grab his entire foot, then inserted it into his mouth. Oh, and let me not forget that he grabbed the other foot when he rememered watching School Daze with the fellas and decided to throw in mention of the Jiggaboos to show how in touch he was. He was going to SHOCK all of y'all!!! LOL!

See, I don't fault Imus. I fault his boys.




They (his African-American homies) should've told that man that he could neva, eva, eva, eva use that phrase outside of their circle or in the midst of some other black folks without risk of the people (in this case, Jesse, Al and them) getting all worked up and making sure HIS nappy-headed tail got fired.

ROFL!! Y'all hadn't thought of it like that had you??

God bless Imus and his boys. God bless you.

p.s. -- Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts & prayers when I was MIA from my blog - I think I'm really back this time (check me out next Monday to see if I kept my word). Oh -- I told my friend/co-worker that she, no matter how badly she felt the urge, could not tell anyone to kiss her black a$$ unless she wanted Jesse and them to come after her next! LOL!

She's BAAAAACK!!! (he he)

Okay, I took a little hiatus, but I'm back briefly this Monday. I didn't think people would notice... so big ups to those of you who did! :-)

Just wanted to let the folks who keep up with me by checking out my little soliloquies in the form of blog postings know that all is well... I had to pause for the cause (related to career moves and personal growth) which required my 100%, undivided attention. HOWEVER, I will be back next week and the topics that I have on deck are hotter than ever. I might touch on Imus and his so-called "foot in the mouth moment" (my 2 cents on that one is a little unique)... I'll definitely be posting a lil something on SWAGGER (and how some of y'all need to be about the business of getting yours back -- in Jesus' name)... I read an article on the whole committment to abstinence craze that many churches across the U.S. are embracing that I wanted to share with my peeps... I have a whole thing on friendship that has been on my mind - that one might come together in the form of a blog post.. and, the list goes on.

My point: I took a little break, but I have more blog-appropriate topics than a little bit and I'm SURE they'll all make you say uh oh, he he or ah ha! You'll see the first of those next week. In the meantime.... My blogging boy has been posting away. Check him out: http://jcforjc.blogspot.com/

Be blessed. Be happy. Be back next Monday (same time, same place). :-)

Your Cousin Kevin... (He he!)

Confidence or trust in a person or a thing... belief in God. That's how Webster defines "faith." You might be more familiar with the phrase "step out on faith"... and your grandma might've told you that "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Yes, as we go through life with our short and long-term goals, faith is an IMPORTANT thing to have in our back pockets. But... leave it up to YOUR COUSIN (and you know who you are) to take grandma's saying (borrowed from Hebrews 11) out of context!

Case in point:

On Monday, February 29, 2007, YOUR COUSIN Kevin Russell -- you know, 21-year old Kevin from Indiana -- wrote a check to himself and attempted to cash it "by faith" at Chase Bank in Hobart. This is a true story that was reported by the Associated Press and you're probably thinking, "So what? People write counterfeit checks all the time." Yeah, you're right, but YOUR COUSIN Kevin tried to take the fake check game to new heights. How so, you ask? Well... YOUR COUSIN signed this fake $50,000 check... (drumroll, please)

"King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant."

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin... tsk, tsk, tsk.

I know the Word of God says to "write the vision," (Habakkuk 2: 2-3), but I'm pretty sure the Word of God does NOT say anything about writing a $50,000 check to yourself -- and I'm not even going to get into the AUDACITY that was displayed when Kevin fixed his fingers to sign a check as if HE is my King Savior, King of kings, Lord of lords... Jesus Christ in the flesh. BOY, STOP PLAYIN'!! It's no wonder his tail ended up at the Lake County Jail -- and, I sure hope he didn't expect some kind of "divine intervention" to get him out of this one!

According to reports, YOUR COUSIN Kevin had other counterfeit checks with the same signature in his possession written for various amounts -- one for $100,000. And, I guess he was so confident that the "King of kings" wanted him to have the money that he resisted arrest and threatened police as he was being taken away.

Post My Bond, Jesus!

It's no surprise that YOUR "faithful" COUSIN found himself locked up -- I mean detained -- pending a $1,000 bond. He racked up multiple charges, including felony charges for attempted check fraud and intimidation. He was also charged with one count of resisting law enforcement -- I guess he forgot that the King of kings didn't even RESIST being nailed in His hands and hung from an old rugged cross... Yeah, YOUR COUSIN must've forgotten that part of the story.

Faith Without Funds...

Mustard seed faith? Writing the vision? Hearer and doer of the Word? YOUR COUSIN Kevin might claim any of the above because he doesn't seem to understand the idea of CONTEXT. Perhaps there's a newer translation of the Holy Bible that will teach him a "Contemporary Christian" concept that Gospel EUR's Mona Austin so eloquently stated: FAITH WITHOUT FUNDS IS DEAD, boo.

Please pray for YOUR COUSIN KEVIN.

Be blessed. Be happy. Be faithful. :-)

Ode to the Unsung Hero - Wing on Wheat (He he!)

For the third and final installment of this tribute to the unsung heroes in Black History, I want to take you back to the 90s. In my case, it was 1996 to be exact. I arrived in the nation's largest consortium of Historically Black Colleges and Universities - the Atlanta University Center and somehow knew my life would never be the same. I was a freshman at Clark Atlanta University. Dinner in the cafe always ended around 7p (promptly followed by a football team initiated food fight). And, around 9 or 10p, I might find myself craving a snack. Before I knew it, I had scraped up a couple of dollars, and was at the corner of James P. Brawley and some little side street, inside of a Black-owned, cramped-up, "sells a little bit of everything under the sun" corner store, awaiting that oh-so-special moment. You know the one. That mouth-watering moment when the dude behind the counter would hit that little bell and holler:

WING ON WHEAT!!!

I couldn't wait to get my hands on those big old chicken wings and that slice of wheat bread that curbed an appetite like nothing else; and there was only one place that could get the "wing on wheat" right in the AUC -- STEGALL'S.

Fast forward into the new millennium and Stegall's is no longer. I got the notice in February of 2005 and couldn't believe my eyes when I went to campus and the building that birthed more "wing on wheats" than anyone could count was GONE. Talk about a SAD DAY in AUC history.

Now, anyone who attended school in the AUC -- or just hung out on "the strip" -- will reflect on times frequenting Mr. Stegall's establishment. I mean, I almost got shot in front of the joint and ended up making a friend for life through the experience. But, as the author of the "Stegall's is Shutting Down" email so eloquently put it, "For whatever we can say about Mr. Stegall, however bad or unjust, he put many a crackheads to work. Real Talk... First the Fat Boys break-up and now this. ONE TIME FOR THE WING ON WHEAT!!"

So, yes... Mr. Stegall is my final (Black) unsung hero. And, in keeping with my theme of enlightenment, I thought I would share some little known facts (and these are real) around the man, his HISTORIC establishment and its unfortunate closing:

1. Mr. Stegall's full name is John Stegall.

2. Stegall's Grocery sat on the corner of James P. Brawley and Parson for 20 years, serving AUC students, faculty and staff everything from a hot (fried) meal to deodorant to Black n Milds...

3. According Mr. Stegall, the Woodruff Library (a.k.a. "Club Woody") bought Stegall's Grocery on Dec. 12, 2005.

4. It was reported that Stegall tried to buy the property in 1990, unsuccessfully. Woodruff Library offered more money to property owner J.H Robinson, which led to the purchase of his space (and the end of the wing on wheat as we knew it).

5. Mr. Stegall plans to develop another location on Fair Street. Until then, you might be able to find a decent "wing on wheat" at his Campbellton Road location (2969 Campbellton Road -- "John & San" soul food).

Since I play a lot, I want to reiterate that the nuggets of Black history that I shared above are FACTUAL (all jokes aside). For proof, you can check out this article that ran in CAU's student paper.

Now that you're convinced of my journalistic integrity... please join me in a moment of silence as we reflect on Stegall's Grocery and the beloved WING ON WHEAT. *silence*

This has been today's little known nugget of Black History (part three) -- he he! :-)

Be enlightened. Be proud. Be blessed.

Ode to the Unsung Hero -- She Didn't Fit The Image

(Uh oh!)

Do a little research and it's pretty easy to find lists of African American "icons" and "heroes" that include women like Maya Angelou, Josephine Baker, Harriet Tubman and Rosa Parks. Dig a little deeper and you can learn that Rosa Parks is considered the "Mother of the Civil Rights movement." In fact, Rosa Louise McCauley Parks has earned her place in U.S. history for her refusal on December 1, 1955 to obey a bus driver's demand that she relinquish her seat to a white man. Her arrest and trial triggered the Montgomery Bus Boycott and -- according to history books -- "launched" Martin Luther King, Jr. to the forefront of the civil rights movement. Wikipedia says that Rosa's "role in American history earned her an iconic status... and her actions have left an enduring legacy for civil rights movements around the world."

Now, before I go on, let me say that I am NOT knocking Rosa Parks and what she did. Shoot - I, CERTAINLY, appreciate every single man, woman and child who played any part in the Civil Rights Movement. In fact, I stand on their shoulders everyday. But...

What about the Women Who Refused to Get Up Before Rosa?

With that question in mind, the second installment of my tribute to Black History's unsung heroes highlights CLAUDETTE COLVIN WHO -- ON MARCH 2, 1955 -- AT THE AGE OF 15 REFUSED TO GIVE UP HER SEAT ON A MONTGOMERY BUS TO A WHITE PERSON, in violation of local law. Her arrest preceded Rosa Parks' refusal to get up (on December 1, 1955) by nine months.

Colvin, a student at Booker T. Washington High School and active member of the NAACP's Youth Council, was going home from school when she got on a Capital Heights bus downtown -- the same place Parks boarded another bus months later. Colvin was sitting about two seats from the emergency exit when four whites boarded and the driver ordered her, along with three other black passengers, to get up. She refused and was removed from the bus by two police officers who took her to jail as she screamed that her constitutional rights were being violated. The police accused the teenager of spewing curse words, which Colvin denied. She was later convicted of violating the segregation law and assault (although witnesses said no assault was involved in the incident).

According to Wikipedia, E.D. Nixon, then a leader of the Montgomery chapter of the NAACP, had been waiting for a test case to challenge bus segregation and vowed to help Colvin after her father posted bail. But then came the second-guessing: Colvin’s father mowed lawns; her mother was a maid. They were "church-going" people, but they lived in the poorest section of Montgomery and the original "freedom rider" was pregnant. Apparently, little Claudette didn't fit the image the NAACP was looking for... consequently, "giving up her seat" in the History books to a "more suitable" Rosa Parks.

Talk about PR strategy...

For more information on Claudette Colvin, check out Wikipedia and I definitely encourage you to read this article when you have the time -- knowledge is power.

This has been today's little known nugget of Black History (part two) -- uh oh!

Be enlightened. Be proud. Be blessed.

Ode to the Unsung Hero -

Lift Every Voice (Ah Ha!)

Wednesday, February 28, 2007. The last day of Black History Month 07. The final day of our annual celebration that has existed since 1926 -- credited to Harvard Scholar Dr. Carter G. Woodson, who was determined to bring Black History into the public arena. According to historians, Woodson devoted his life to making "the world see the Negro as a participant rather than as a lay figure in history" and organized the first annual Negro History Week in 1926. Fifty years later, as part of the nation's bicentennial, Negro History Week expanded into the Black History Month that we know today -- a four-week-long celebration of African-American History.

Now, if you know me well, you've probably be waiting for this one since February 1st. You KNEW the chick who complained about her history teacher ignoring Black History Month in a letter to the editor of her middle school paper... the chick who claims to have a little Angela (Davis), Sojourner (Truth) and Rosa (Parks) living inside of her... THAT chick would NOT let February 2007 pass us by with ZERO mention of BLACK HISTORY MONTH on her blog. Yep - you guessed it. So, on the last day of the shortest month -- right on the heels of freshly recorded Super Bowl, Oscar and even State of the Union Address Black history... I give you the first installment of my ODE TO THE (BLACK) UNSUNG HERO.

Lift Every Voice & Sing...

The Negro National Anthem might be one of the things I love most about being Black. I mean, 108 years after it was written, the lyrics still move me every time I hear or sing them. And even though I recently learned that many people of other races have no idea that the song exists, I absolutely love "lifting my voice to sing" it at every HBCU football or basketball game... and I look forward to belting it at the top of my lungs with my head held high during the "congregational hymn" for four Sundays out of the year. Ah, the joys of Black History Month....

Stony the road we trod, bitter the chastening rod, felt in the days when hope unborn had died; yet with a steady beat, have not our weary feet come to the place for which our fathers sighed? We have come over a way that with tears have been watered, we have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered, out from the gloomy past, till now we stand at last where the white gleam of our bright star is cast....

Man, James Weldon Johnson did his thing when he wrote that song (one time for all of his -- and my -- fellow Atlanta University and Clark Atlanta University alum)! Verse-to-verse, The Negro National Anthem tells the story of our past, our future and OUR HOPE ("God of our weary years... thou who has brought us thus far on the way..."). But, for the purposes of this blog posting...

I bet you didn't know there is an (BLACK) UNSUNG HERO in the Negro National Anthem. His name is JOHN ROSAMOND JOHNSON.

While James Weldon Johnson gets plenty of credit for writing the Negro National Anthem, you never hear anything about his little brother's contribution to the song. Born August 11, 1873 in Jacksonville, Florida, composer John Rosamond Johnson WROTE THE MUSIC TO THE NEGRO NATIONAL ANTHEM. Brother of James Weldon Johnson, John R. Johnson attended Atlanta University and the New England Conservatory of Music. He and his brother belonged to the song writing team of Cole and Johnson Brothers, writing over 200 songs. He also edited a number of collections of African American music. John R. Johnson died on November 11, 1954 in New York City.

This has been today's little known nugget of Black History (part one) -- ah ha! :-)

Be enlightened. Be proud. Be blessed.