Broken Promises... (hehe)

I really try to be a woman of my word, but sometimes life gets in the way. I last posted MONTHS ago, promising to be back the following week at the same time and same place. Well... nearly two months have passed... God's plan has been at work... I saw, with my own two eyes, the results of speaking things that aren't as though they are... I've relocated from one "A" to another... I put the blog on pause, but started a brand new chapter of life in the "natural state."

But, in an attempt to put the broken promise back together... here are my quick thoughts on the Imus thing. I know it's late, but take a quick read. You probably hadn't thought of it this way:

Since when do white people even KNOW to call a sister (or brother) "nappy-headed"??

LOL!! For real! I have plenty of caucasian friends -- I always have (going back to pre-school when my mom would scream at me for letting blonde-hair, blue-eyed Dawn make my pony tails stick up), so please don't take this the wrong way. The fact is, I had never in my life heard a caucasian refer to an African-American as "nappy-headed" -- let alone call a chick a "nappy-headed-you know what." So, before I could even get with the idea that it was "wrong" for a SHOCK JOCK (a title which intelligent people know indicates a specialty in saying things that will SHOCK) to use that phrase in a country that prides itself in freedom of speech -- before I could even take time to come up with my point of view on that one, I was struck by how ODD it was that he even KNEW the phrase "nappy-headed."

Who the heck taught this white dude (who, himself, has nappy hair, btw) -- who the heck taught him that phrase?!?!!?

Well, I immediately thought of a former colleague who lacked melanin (i.e. she would probably check the box that says "white") but dreamt of the day she could tell somebody to "kiss her black a$$." Yes, you heard it right. A white woman heard me use that phrase. She could see the calming affect that overcame me after those words left my lips. BUT, since her a$$ is nowhere near black, she could only dream of the day when she could, in a state of frustration in the work place, mumble under her breath: "kiss my black a$$!!"

In my mind's eye...

I can see Imus kicking it with his homies (i.e. a group of predominantly black men). They might have been in some nasty bar (because that's where he looks like he might hang out) and some hoochie-mama looking woman walked by. Imus heard his friends laugh and talk about said hoochie's appearance. They kept calling her a "nappy-headed you know what." At first he didn't get it, but then he put the phrase in context and eventually joined in laughing at the hoochie. Later, he took his tail home, having learned a new phrase that he might be able to SHOCK someone with one day.

Fast forward to the now infamous day during the women's NCAA tourney... Imus had a flash back of the nappy-headed hoochie in the nasty bar, proceeded to grab his entire foot, then inserted it into his mouth. Oh, and let me not forget that he grabbed the other foot when he rememered watching School Daze with the fellas and decided to throw in mention of the Jiggaboos to show how in touch he was. He was going to SHOCK all of y'all!!! LOL!

See, I don't fault Imus. I fault his boys.




They (his African-American homies) should've told that man that he could neva, eva, eva, eva use that phrase outside of their circle or in the midst of some other black folks without risk of the people (in this case, Jesse, Al and them) getting all worked up and making sure HIS nappy-headed tail got fired.

ROFL!! Y'all hadn't thought of it like that had you??

God bless Imus and his boys. God bless you.

p.s. -- Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts & prayers when I was MIA from my blog - I think I'm really back this time (check me out next Monday to see if I kept my word). Oh -- I told my friend/co-worker that she, no matter how badly she felt the urge, could not tell anyone to kiss her black a$$ unless she wanted Jesse and them to come after her next! LOL!

She's BAAAAACK!!! (he he)

Okay, I took a little hiatus, but I'm back briefly this Monday. I didn't think people would notice... so big ups to those of you who did! :-)

Just wanted to let the folks who keep up with me by checking out my little soliloquies in the form of blog postings know that all is well... I had to pause for the cause (related to career moves and personal growth) which required my 100%, undivided attention. HOWEVER, I will be back next week and the topics that I have on deck are hotter than ever. I might touch on Imus and his so-called "foot in the mouth moment" (my 2 cents on that one is a little unique)... I'll definitely be posting a lil something on SWAGGER (and how some of y'all need to be about the business of getting yours back -- in Jesus' name)... I read an article on the whole committment to abstinence craze that many churches across the U.S. are embracing that I wanted to share with my peeps... I have a whole thing on friendship that has been on my mind - that one might come together in the form of a blog post.. and, the list goes on.

My point: I took a little break, but I have more blog-appropriate topics than a little bit and I'm SURE they'll all make you say uh oh, he he or ah ha! You'll see the first of those next week. In the meantime.... My blogging boy has been posting away. Check him out: http://jcforjc.blogspot.com/

Be blessed. Be happy. Be back next Monday (same time, same place). :-)

Your Cousin Kevin... (He he!)

Confidence or trust in a person or a thing... belief in God. That's how Webster defines "faith." You might be more familiar with the phrase "step out on faith"... and your grandma might've told you that "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Yes, as we go through life with our short and long-term goals, faith is an IMPORTANT thing to have in our back pockets. But... leave it up to YOUR COUSIN (and you know who you are) to take grandma's saying (borrowed from Hebrews 11) out of context!

Case in point:

On Monday, February 29, 2007, YOUR COUSIN Kevin Russell -- you know, 21-year old Kevin from Indiana -- wrote a check to himself and attempted to cash it "by faith" at Chase Bank in Hobart. This is a true story that was reported by the Associated Press and you're probably thinking, "So what? People write counterfeit checks all the time." Yeah, you're right, but YOUR COUSIN Kevin tried to take the fake check game to new heights. How so, you ask? Well... YOUR COUSIN signed this fake $50,000 check... (drumroll, please)

"King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant."

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin... tsk, tsk, tsk.

I know the Word of God says to "write the vision," (Habakkuk 2: 2-3), but I'm pretty sure the Word of God does NOT say anything about writing a $50,000 check to yourself -- and I'm not even going to get into the AUDACITY that was displayed when Kevin fixed his fingers to sign a check as if HE is my King Savior, King of kings, Lord of lords... Jesus Christ in the flesh. BOY, STOP PLAYIN'!! It's no wonder his tail ended up at the Lake County Jail -- and, I sure hope he didn't expect some kind of "divine intervention" to get him out of this one!

According to reports, YOUR COUSIN Kevin had other counterfeit checks with the same signature in his possession written for various amounts -- one for $100,000. And, I guess he was so confident that the "King of kings" wanted him to have the money that he resisted arrest and threatened police as he was being taken away.

Post My Bond, Jesus!

It's no surprise that YOUR "faithful" COUSIN found himself locked up -- I mean detained -- pending a $1,000 bond. He racked up multiple charges, including felony charges for attempted check fraud and intimidation. He was also charged with one count of resisting law enforcement -- I guess he forgot that the King of kings didn't even RESIST being nailed in His hands and hung from an old rugged cross... Yeah, YOUR COUSIN must've forgotten that part of the story.

Faith Without Funds...

Mustard seed faith? Writing the vision? Hearer and doer of the Word? YOUR COUSIN Kevin might claim any of the above because he doesn't seem to understand the idea of CONTEXT. Perhaps there's a newer translation of the Holy Bible that will teach him a "Contemporary Christian" concept that Gospel EUR's Mona Austin so eloquently stated: FAITH WITHOUT FUNDS IS DEAD, boo.

Please pray for YOUR COUSIN KEVIN.

Be blessed. Be happy. Be faithful. :-)

Ode to the Unsung Hero - Wing on Wheat (He he!)

For the third and final installment of this tribute to the unsung heroes in Black History, I want to take you back to the 90s. In my case, it was 1996 to be exact. I arrived in the nation's largest consortium of Historically Black Colleges and Universities - the Atlanta University Center and somehow knew my life would never be the same. I was a freshman at Clark Atlanta University. Dinner in the cafe always ended around 7p (promptly followed by a football team initiated food fight). And, around 9 or 10p, I might find myself craving a snack. Before I knew it, I had scraped up a couple of dollars, and was at the corner of James P. Brawley and some little side street, inside of a Black-owned, cramped-up, "sells a little bit of everything under the sun" corner store, awaiting that oh-so-special moment. You know the one. That mouth-watering moment when the dude behind the counter would hit that little bell and holler:

WING ON WHEAT!!!

I couldn't wait to get my hands on those big old chicken wings and that slice of wheat bread that curbed an appetite like nothing else; and there was only one place that could get the "wing on wheat" right in the AUC -- STEGALL'S.

Fast forward into the new millennium and Stegall's is no longer. I got the notice in February of 2005 and couldn't believe my eyes when I went to campus and the building that birthed more "wing on wheats" than anyone could count was GONE. Talk about a SAD DAY in AUC history.

Now, anyone who attended school in the AUC -- or just hung out on "the strip" -- will reflect on times frequenting Mr. Stegall's establishment. I mean, I almost got shot in front of the joint and ended up making a friend for life through the experience. But, as the author of the "Stegall's is Shutting Down" email so eloquently put it, "For whatever we can say about Mr. Stegall, however bad or unjust, he put many a crackheads to work. Real Talk... First the Fat Boys break-up and now this. ONE TIME FOR THE WING ON WHEAT!!"

So, yes... Mr. Stegall is my final (Black) unsung hero. And, in keeping with my theme of enlightenment, I thought I would share some little known facts (and these are real) around the man, his HISTORIC establishment and its unfortunate closing:

1. Mr. Stegall's full name is John Stegall.

2. Stegall's Grocery sat on the corner of James P. Brawley and Parson for 20 years, serving AUC students, faculty and staff everything from a hot (fried) meal to deodorant to Black n Milds...

3. According Mr. Stegall, the Woodruff Library (a.k.a. "Club Woody") bought Stegall's Grocery on Dec. 12, 2005.

4. It was reported that Stegall tried to buy the property in 1990, unsuccessfully. Woodruff Library offered more money to property owner J.H Robinson, which led to the purchase of his space (and the end of the wing on wheat as we knew it).

5. Mr. Stegall plans to develop another location on Fair Street. Until then, you might be able to find a decent "wing on wheat" at his Campbellton Road location (2969 Campbellton Road -- "John & San" soul food).

Since I play a lot, I want to reiterate that the nuggets of Black history that I shared above are FACTUAL (all jokes aside). For proof, you can check out this article that ran in CAU's student paper.

Now that you're convinced of my journalistic integrity... please join me in a moment of silence as we reflect on Stegall's Grocery and the beloved WING ON WHEAT. *silence*

This has been today's little known nugget of Black History (part three) -- he he! :-)

Be enlightened. Be proud. Be blessed.

Ode to the Unsung Hero -- She Didn't Fit The Image

(Uh oh!)

Do a little research and it's pretty easy to find lists of African American "icons" and "heroes" that include women like Maya Angelou, Josephine Baker, Harriet Tubman and Rosa Parks. Dig a little deeper and you can learn that Rosa Parks is considered the "Mother of the Civil Rights movement." In fact, Rosa Louise McCauley Parks has earned her place in U.S. history for her refusal on December 1, 1955 to obey a bus driver's demand that she relinquish her seat to a white man. Her arrest and trial triggered the Montgomery Bus Boycott and -- according to history books -- "launched" Martin Luther King, Jr. to the forefront of the civil rights movement. Wikipedia says that Rosa's "role in American history earned her an iconic status... and her actions have left an enduring legacy for civil rights movements around the world."

Now, before I go on, let me say that I am NOT knocking Rosa Parks and what she did. Shoot - I, CERTAINLY, appreciate every single man, woman and child who played any part in the Civil Rights Movement. In fact, I stand on their shoulders everyday. But...

What about the Women Who Refused to Get Up Before Rosa?

With that question in mind, the second installment of my tribute to Black History's unsung heroes highlights CLAUDETTE COLVIN WHO -- ON MARCH 2, 1955 -- AT THE AGE OF 15 REFUSED TO GIVE UP HER SEAT ON A MONTGOMERY BUS TO A WHITE PERSON, in violation of local law. Her arrest preceded Rosa Parks' refusal to get up (on December 1, 1955) by nine months.

Colvin, a student at Booker T. Washington High School and active member of the NAACP's Youth Council, was going home from school when she got on a Capital Heights bus downtown -- the same place Parks boarded another bus months later. Colvin was sitting about two seats from the emergency exit when four whites boarded and the driver ordered her, along with three other black passengers, to get up. She refused and was removed from the bus by two police officers who took her to jail as she screamed that her constitutional rights were being violated. The police accused the teenager of spewing curse words, which Colvin denied. She was later convicted of violating the segregation law and assault (although witnesses said no assault was involved in the incident).

According to Wikipedia, E.D. Nixon, then a leader of the Montgomery chapter of the NAACP, had been waiting for a test case to challenge bus segregation and vowed to help Colvin after her father posted bail. But then came the second-guessing: Colvin’s father mowed lawns; her mother was a maid. They were "church-going" people, but they lived in the poorest section of Montgomery and the original "freedom rider" was pregnant. Apparently, little Claudette didn't fit the image the NAACP was looking for... consequently, "giving up her seat" in the History books to a "more suitable" Rosa Parks.

Talk about PR strategy...

For more information on Claudette Colvin, check out Wikipedia and I definitely encourage you to read this article when you have the time -- knowledge is power.

This has been today's little known nugget of Black History (part two) -- uh oh!

Be enlightened. Be proud. Be blessed.

Ode to the Unsung Hero -

Lift Every Voice (Ah Ha!)

Wednesday, February 28, 2007. The last day of Black History Month 07. The final day of our annual celebration that has existed since 1926 -- credited to Harvard Scholar Dr. Carter G. Woodson, who was determined to bring Black History into the public arena. According to historians, Woodson devoted his life to making "the world see the Negro as a participant rather than as a lay figure in history" and organized the first annual Negro History Week in 1926. Fifty years later, as part of the nation's bicentennial, Negro History Week expanded into the Black History Month that we know today -- a four-week-long celebration of African-American History.

Now, if you know me well, you've probably be waiting for this one since February 1st. You KNEW the chick who complained about her history teacher ignoring Black History Month in a letter to the editor of her middle school paper... the chick who claims to have a little Angela (Davis), Sojourner (Truth) and Rosa (Parks) living inside of her... THAT chick would NOT let February 2007 pass us by with ZERO mention of BLACK HISTORY MONTH on her blog. Yep - you guessed it. So, on the last day of the shortest month -- right on the heels of freshly recorded Super Bowl, Oscar and even State of the Union Address Black history... I give you the first installment of my ODE TO THE (BLACK) UNSUNG HERO.

Lift Every Voice & Sing...

The Negro National Anthem might be one of the things I love most about being Black. I mean, 108 years after it was written, the lyrics still move me every time I hear or sing them. And even though I recently learned that many people of other races have no idea that the song exists, I absolutely love "lifting my voice to sing" it at every HBCU football or basketball game... and I look forward to belting it at the top of my lungs with my head held high during the "congregational hymn" for four Sundays out of the year. Ah, the joys of Black History Month....

Stony the road we trod, bitter the chastening rod, felt in the days when hope unborn had died; yet with a steady beat, have not our weary feet come to the place for which our fathers sighed? We have come over a way that with tears have been watered, we have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered, out from the gloomy past, till now we stand at last where the white gleam of our bright star is cast....

Man, James Weldon Johnson did his thing when he wrote that song (one time for all of his -- and my -- fellow Atlanta University and Clark Atlanta University alum)! Verse-to-verse, The Negro National Anthem tells the story of our past, our future and OUR HOPE ("God of our weary years... thou who has brought us thus far on the way..."). But, for the purposes of this blog posting...

I bet you didn't know there is an (BLACK) UNSUNG HERO in the Negro National Anthem. His name is JOHN ROSAMOND JOHNSON.

While James Weldon Johnson gets plenty of credit for writing the Negro National Anthem, you never hear anything about his little brother's contribution to the song. Born August 11, 1873 in Jacksonville, Florida, composer John Rosamond Johnson WROTE THE MUSIC TO THE NEGRO NATIONAL ANTHEM. Brother of James Weldon Johnson, John R. Johnson attended Atlanta University and the New England Conservatory of Music. He and his brother belonged to the song writing team of Cole and Johnson Brothers, writing over 200 songs. He also edited a number of collections of African American music. John R. Johnson died on November 11, 1954 in New York City.

This has been today's little known nugget of Black History (part one) -- ah ha! :-)

Be enlightened. Be proud. Be blessed.

The Coldest Winter Ever (He he!)

I never read Sister Souljah's book. I've only heard great things about it, but for whatever reason... It's been on my bookshelf for years and I haven't cracked it open. Maybe this will be the year that I actually take the time to read the Essence Best-Seller -- who knows. In the meantime, let me tell you about MY coldest winter ever.

It was February 2007 and the temperature was a chilly twenty four degrees fahrenheit. Brrrrrrr.... Hat, gloves, scarf -- all were necessary if I was going to bear "the hawk" that was outside my door. Those cotton, long-sleeved pajamas that I got for Christmas came in handy. The space heater that I'm not supposed to have at my desk is on HIGH. It is cold as a MUG. No snow... not much ice... but, FREEZING COLD nonetheless. I'm talkin' the kind of cold that makes it sooo difficult to get a move on it in the mornings... the kind of cold that leaves you with a taste for hot cocoa and gives you the "cuddle bug" -- you know the one that finds your fingers dialing a special someone so y'all can be freezing cold together. :-)

I Tend To Exaggerate...

Okay, you got me. Twenty-something degrees below the Mason Dixon line is NOT my "coldest winter ever." In fact, it's NOTHING in comparison to what I experienced in New Jersey's "Blizzard of 96"... I almost forgot about that frost-biting January weekend in NYC back in 03... and the snow storm in D.C. that nearly stopped my mom from birthing me at a local hospital was SO the 70s! I have experienced some COLD winters in my day, but for whatever reason, this past week found me totally blown away by how freaking cold my dear "hot"-lanta has become. How cold, you ask? So cold that I've decided to use this Monday's post to share a few "fun facts" on Winter.

Things You Didn't Know About Winter:

1. Winter babies like me... Researchers from Southampton University found that babies born in cold winters are more likely to suffer from obesity as adults. (I don't know why this makes me laugh. Maybe because I'm a fully-grown winter baby who weighs a whopping buck-O.... LOL!)

2. Tiny bits of dirt? When water freezes inside clouds, crystals form around tiny bits of dirt that have been carried up into the atmosphere by the wind. These ice crystals join together creating snow flakes. Once the flakes are heavy enough they fall to the ground as snow. (tiny bits of dirt... snow... and I used to EAT this?)

3. Snow Pink?? Believe it or not, snow is actually clear. It appears white because the crystals act as prisms, breaking up the light of the sun into the entire spectrum of color. Since the human eye is unable to handle that kind of sensory overload, we see the snow as white or sometimes blue. Or, if you live in a place where your soil is red, snow is pink. The red dust blows into the clouds, discoloring the snow. (Wow!!)

4. February blahs? Apparently, winter can have several "psychological" impacts on people. There are the "winter blues" and "February blahs." "Holiday depression", or doldrums, is also noted amongst people -- the severest case of which is diagnosed as seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Symptoms include sleeping more, tiredness, depression, and physical aches. Although causes include genetic disposition and stress, the prevailing environmental influence is decreased exposure to light due to winter weather patterns and the increased amount of clothing that must be worn to keep warm.

You mean to tell me that the "increased amount of clothing" that I have to wear because it's cold as I-don't-know-what outside can lead to some kind of psychological disorder?!?! First, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are giving people salmonella, now too many warm clothes are causing depression -- IS ANYTHING SACRED?!?!

Button Up Your Coat & Walk Into Your Season...

As I laughed at those silly/interesting facts and thought about how brisk it is outside, I was reminded that - however cold - winter is but a SEASON that we have to go through. We're always excited to see it come (so we can bust out our cute boots and warm sweaters)... We can't rush it away (it's here December through February, whether we like it or not)... we'll reminisce about it when it's gone (and we're complaining of 100 degree temperatures come July)... and we'll never see another one exactly like it.

So, with that in mind, I remember Ecclesiastes 3:1, appreciate winter 07... AND revel in THIS wonderful SEASON of life.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 -- To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...

Be blessed. Be warm. Be SEASONed. :-)

Cherry? (Ah ha!)

Twas the night before Valentine's Day and throughout the land, women are finalizing details -- all in an effort to please her man!

Speaking of which...

One of my girls put me on to a cool little blog recently -- http://brothersmanlaw.blogspot.com. Last Tuesday's post, in particular, sparked some interesting conversation among me and the homies. The focus was on "Cindy" -- a woman who claims to have the "worst spoiling tendencies" when it comes to her man. How so, you ask? Well, according to last Tuesday's post, Cindy was planning a Valentine's Day surprise for her boo -- a trip to Hawaii, complete with a vacation wardrobe -- ALL ON HER. Cindy says she enjoys knowing that she can splurge on a guy. Cooking, baking and tons of gifts all the time "make her feel good." And the young man who authored this blog suggests that ladies need to listen to Cindy's story and TAKE NOTES.

Well... let me tell you what I've NOTED from Cindy's little story...

Does The Chinese Buffet Cater?

Back in the day, I would drive 25 minutes up 85 to an all you can eat Chinese buffet. I'm talkin' all the fried rice, house lo mein, egg rolls and crab legs I could eat. I knew I couldn't take home a doggy bag (that wasn't allowed)... And, I never thought to ask if the Chinese Buffet people catered. DOES the Chinese buffet cater? If they're anything like Cindy, they do!

In my mind's eye, I see Cindy's dude getting ALL he can eat -- full access to the girl 24/7. He's probably never heard her voice mail. In fact, she picks up on the FIRST RING. Two-three rings just won't do for Cindy's boo. She cooks dinner a few times a week. If they shack up, she probably packs his lunch in the mornings (or leaves his lunch money on the counter) -- after she has picked his outfit, ironed his shirt, creased his drawers... Not only is Cindy providing her sweetheart with all he can eat, Cindy's buffet CATERS. Or, at least that's what she and Destiny's Child might call it:

Let me help you take off your shoes
Untie your shoestrings, take off your cufflinks
What you want to eat boo? Let me feed you...
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert and so much more!
Anything you want just let me cater to you...

What A Man Wants...

Now, ladies -- if we're smart, we won't read Cindy's story (or the lyrics of Destiny's Children) and immediately bust out our pens and pads. I'm all about doing nice things for my man (I mean, I've been known to purchase a "just because" gift or two... send grits cross country... and cook a meal in my day). But, if we're smart -- and I know we are -- we WILL NOT (I repeat, WILL NOT) empty our savings accounts to purchase a last minute package to an all-inclusive resort in Hawaii with matching swimsuits. Instead, we'll first figure out if Cindy's philosophy and tactics are REALLY in line with what a man wants. I mean, any caterer will tell you they need to know what the market wants before they can deliver the food!! So, let's see what the fellas want:

[here's where I include the results of my informal survey of single, mid-late twenties, bachelors on "catering"]

1. What does “catering to your man” mean to you?

Bachelor #1 -- To most women, it means do what ever they read, saw on t.v./movies, or what ever they did with their last man to make him happy. Some know that you have to take the time to learn what makes your new man happy. Then, they truly cater.
Bachelor #2 -- She keeps me focused on my focus, know's my likes and dislikes, finds joy in making me happy -- regardless of if it's something that she doesn't like to do. But, because she knows that he likes it, she does it (and I don't mean somthing huge, I mean something like, she hates cooking, but will fry some chicken because she know's he likes it). And, she's smart, because, he'll cater to her as well. Its a two way street.
Bachelor #3 -- I believe catering to your man involves being a support mechanism for him.

2.. If a good man is hard to find… what SHOULD a woman do to keep a good man IF she is lucky enough to find him?

Bachelor #1 -- If a woman is lucky enough to find HER good man, not just a good man (their is a difference), she would not have too do much to keep him. This is because she will know how to honor, respect and submit to her man when needed. Just as he will know how and when to do the same.
Bachelor #2 -- Love when he needs it, space when he needs it, high heels and lingerie while cooking if he likes it...
Bachelor #3 -- If a woman finds a man she deems worthy, she should play a supporting role in his life. This could mean many things, but supporting men is the greatest attribute women have. Supporting your man does not mean you should be subjugated to his commands, or that you cannot have personal goals. It only means learning what his goals are and helping him achieve
them.

Poor Cindy...

Well, it looks like sista-girl Cindy's catering company might soon be out of business because it doesn't offer the full-line of delicacies that its patrons are looking for.

Cindy dear, according to the bachelors surveyed (and the gospel according to me and my girls), a woman has to come with more than pretty garnish (i.e. trips to Honolulu)... nice china (i.e. freshly baked brownies) and fancy napkins (i.e. a new shirt in this spring's hottest color) to ensure successful "catering." A REAL CATERER has a full menu of beverages, appetizers, soups, salads, main courses, deserts, an assortment of teas and coffees, and post-dinner mints. She knows her client's (her man's) taste and she knows exactly which menu options will satisfy his various appetites and needs -- according to his taste on any particular day, in any particular moment. In fact, Cindy's pretty garnish can be likened to the lone cherry on top of the exquisite "love sundae" A REAL CATERER serves her man every day -- one scoop of listening, one scoop of understanding, a scoop of support, special whip creme called "laughter," extra sprinkles of prayer... THE CHERRY IS OPTIONAL.

Be blessed. Be loved. Be remembering 1 Corinthians 13 -- Love never fails. :-)

Chicken is Good (He he!)

My mom is a pretty hip chick. She stays up on the latest fashion trends… she knows more about the hottest R&B hits than I… she’s what people call “young at heart.” So… I’m not sure how I ended up being an “old soul” – maybe it’s the deep-rooted spirit of my ancestors… maybe I emulated my grandma’s southern dialect and frequently used phrases a little too much… maybe I really am 29 going on 69. Either way, I find myself using – and LOVING – more “old folk, country” sayings than a little bit!!! I figured I’d use today’s posting to share some of my favorites (some that I’ve only heard… some that I find myself using all the time). Feel free to work them into your daily conversations… He he! :-)

D-E-I-S-H-A’s Top Ten Old Folk, Country Sayings:

10. Old folk on not-so-nice people…
“He is as mean as a rattle snake!”

9. Old folk on a child who is out of her place…
“You are smelling yourself!”

8. Old folk on telling it like it is…
“I ain’t talkin’ about you. I’m just talkin’ ‘bout what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!”

7. Old folk on a lazy child…
“You wouldn’t hit a lick at a black snake!”

6. Old folk on greedy children…
“If I had a fly, you would want a wing!”

5. Old folk getting excited…
“Watch out there now!” (pronounced: watchoutdehnah)

4. Old folk on picky women…
“You are gonna pick, pick, pick until you pick sh*t!”

3. Old folk on continuing to work hard and achieve your goals…
“Just keep on keepin’ on, baby!”

2. Old folk on a stinky diaper…
“Ooo wee! It smells like somethin’ crawled up in you and died!”

1. Old folk on God’s blessings and majesty…
“Baby, chicken is good. God [on the other hand] is GREAT!”

In a world where our elders are not paid nearly enough homage or respect (their healthcare costs are ridiculous… social security is a joke, the list goes on), the LEAST we can do is think back on the things our grandmothers (“Big Mamas”), grandfathers (“Pappys”) and even great-great parents (if you were lucky) always said… and let the light bulb (ah ha) that says, “I never knew what that saying meant, but now I know it is SO TRUE,” OR “that mean-snake analogy was great!” go off. Then, keep the legacy living… embrace the “old folk” sayings… pass them down to the next generation. Why? Because you gotta love old folk and all of their country sayings – I sure do! :-)

Be happy. Be blessed. BE COMMENTING with the old folk, country sayings that you think should’ve made my list. LOL! :-)

Get Your Fingers! (He he!)

My name is Deisha and I am a finger-sucker.

I never really understood finger-sucking. I guess my thumb just didn't seem appetizing. But, my sweet God daugher practically came out of the womb sucking her pointer and middle fingers. She would get sleepy and before you knew it, those two fingers were in her little mouth and she was sucking away! Two years later, she still sucks those fingers. And, when a visit from the "sand man" results in a whiney, misbehaving little girl, a stern "Get your fingers" does the trick! Before you can bat an eye, in go those two fingers, out goes whiney, misbehaving... silence, peace and rest (in the form of a precious sleeping toddler) are achieved.

A few days ago, my baby girl wanted her mommy to wake up and play with her. She proceeded to nudge and say, "Wake up, Mommy." But instead of waking up, a tired Mommy suggested that her daughter awake Daddy. My baby's response? "Mommy, get your fingers." HE HE!! In other words, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, so... "Get your fingers and be quiet." LOL!

Watch Out, Dr. Phil!

Okay, I am NOT encouraging my God child to have a sassy mouth, nor am I encouraging those of you who have kids to shove a finger in your child's mouth the next time you're on the verge of losing your patience (no matter how much you might want to). HOWEVER, there is a wonderful lesson to be learned in GETTING ONE'S FINGERS. In fact, if Dr. Phil comes across this blog, he might put on his suit and authoritative voice, and sell you on "Get Your Fingers - The New Three Step Program To Inner Peace." But for simplicity's sake, I'll keep it short and remind you that from time-to-time, we ALL need to GET OUR FINGERS... be quiet... welcome peace... and rest.

Step One: Get Your Fingers!

Confession -- I talk a lot. Since most people already know that about me, I guess it's not really a confession, but, it is a fact... and sometimes, I talk so much that I get on my own nerves. I laugh when I say that... and people don't always understand how that can be. But, what it boils down to is self-awareness -- am I adding value to this conversation? Am I making an important point? Am I asking a question that REALLY needs to be answered? Or, am I just talking to talk? If the answer to the last question is an emphatic YES, I know -- beyond the shadow of a doubt -- that it's time (or past time) for me to GET MY FINGERS and shut up! LOL!

Step Two: Shhhhh!!

Out of respect, We are silent while others are talking. Out of reverence, we offer a moment of silence for a person who has passed away. If we can't find anything nice to say, we were taught that silence is the only option. We know not to talk with food (or fingers) in our mouths. Yes, like I said... after "getting one's fingers," SILENCE is the natural next step. And, even if you're one of those thumb-suckers who has mastered the art of talking with a finger in your mouth, I'm sure you have grown to understand and appreciate the power of silence. We have heard various quotes about it -- "There are times when silence has the loudest voice" (Leroy Brownlow)... "Silence is more eloquent than words" (Thomas Carlyle). One of my blogging buddies even wrote about "God's silence" not too long ago ("When God Is Silent" - 1/5/07). And, the Bible says that there's wisdom and understanding in silence -- "Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding." (Proverbs 17:28) Let me find out Solomon (the author of Proverbs) was instructing his son to GET HIS FINGERS and shut up! And... since, Solomon is considered one of the wisest men to ever walk the earth, I think we should take his word, learn when and how to be quiet (and I can move on).

Step Three: Welcome Peace... and Rest.

The analogy that comes out of watching my God daughter "get her fingers," submit to silence, close her eyes in peace... and quickly find rest is one that resonated with me over this past weekend when I found myself running my mouth for NO REASON. :-) But more importantly, my baby's analogy speaks measures for how EASY it can be for us to go from whiney (frustrated with work, hurt by family, misunderstood by friends, Chatty Cathy) moments... to peace and rest.

The special sauce in the middle (whiney moment + ____ = peace and rest) is SILENCE. Yes, be aware of yourself... know when to get your fingers and SHUT UP! Why? Because in silence, we hear the small voice that speaks to us. In silence, we realize wisdom and understanding. In silence, we find peace of mind. In silence, our souls find rest.

So, I can stand boldly and say... My name is Deisha and I am a finger-sucker. Are you?

Get your fingers... and be blessed!! :-)

Like A Dog In Heat… (Uh Oh!)

Think back to 1989 for a second… you were probably rocking a high top fade or an asymmetrical haircut … New Edition topped the charts and controversy surrounded west coast rappers 2 Live Crew. Yes, it was 1989 and songs from their album “As Nasty As They Wanna Be” were all over MTV and radio airwaves… “I’m like a dog in heat, a freak without warning. I have an appetite for love, cause me so…” Okay, the song was a HOT MESS, but let me tell you about my recent reflection on that line in particular… “I’m like a dog in heat, a freak without warning. I have an appetitie for love, cause me so…”

Before I go on, please note that I am not inferring that women are b*tches or that men are dogs. Follow me, good people, follow me…

Dogs in Heat…

Wikipedia says that female dogs have a twice-yearly fertile period or “season,” during which their bodies prepare for pregnancy. At the peak of this season, the dog comes "into heat" -- she's mentally and physically receptive to copulation.

Okay… I am NOT a pet person. As a matter of fact, I’m a little afraid of dogs. But, in my mind’s eye, a female dog in heat is determined to get a man (male dog) by any means necessary! I can see her running around the park just-a-lookin’! And, when she sees a man (any man), her tail gets to waggin’… her tongue is hangin’ out of her mouth… her ears are at attention… she’s barking like a mad woman… you get the picture. Said dog is mentally and physically ready for the next “season” of her life.

Uh oh, ladies… might we REALLY behave like dogs in heat? We reach a certain “season” of life and male-companionship moves up on the list of priorities. We are mentally ready for a serious relationship; physically, our clocks are ticking. There is no doubt in our minds that we are at (or quickly approaching) the season’s PEAK. So… We see a nice-looking guy at church… in the mall… in a photograph… and our tails IMMEDIATLEY get to waggin’! We bark, “Girl, who is he?!?! Is he single?” Our ears are alert, awaiting the answers….and, if he’s not the one, we continue running around the park, just-a-lookin’ until the next fella catches our eye. Dogs in heat??? Say it ain’t so!!! LOL!

Appetite for Love…

Since this is G-rated blog, I’ll skip over “freak without warning” and go straight to 2 Live Crew’s next reference – “I have an appetitie for love, cause me so…” Now, I’m sure you all can remember how the line ends (even if you are ashamed to admit it). But, forgetting about the actual lyrics for a second and, instead, thinking about my homeboys (a few single men who are playing the field in search of a drama-free good time), my girlfriends (beautiful, brilliant women who are out and about in search of a few good men who might lead them to one true love) and myself (I can actually fit either of the previous descriptions depending upon the day of the week. LOL)… there are countless adjectives that could complete that line. For example…

I have an appetitie for love, cause me so…

... bored (so, let me meet a few new people. Gotta keep the squad fresh!)
... lonely (it’s cold outside… would be nice to have somebody to keep me warm)
... tired (of the games or the work that comes with sustaining a healthy relationship)
... desperate (I’m d-near thirty! I GOTTA find a man ASAP!)
... frustrated (by failed relationships… the lack of quality options)

As I sit here typing and thinking, I realize that I can relate to all of those words (again, depending on the day), But, if you only knodded your head at “bored,” you’re like my some of my homeboys who are playing the field, not looking for anything too serious or too committed… and the rest of this post isn’t for you (come back next week). However, those of you who said “mmmm mmm” when you read the words “lonely,” “tired,” “desperate,” or “frustrated” -- KEEP READING, BOO! You might find some encouragement in the next line or two! :-)

Lonely… Tired… Desperate… Frustrated…

Those words are definitely difficult to swallow. I mean, who wants to think about LOVE and admit that they’re lonely… tired… desperate… or frustrated? Not me! However, as a beautiful, brilliant, single woman (very similar to the girlfriends I described earlier) who has dated countless men and still finds herself awaiting Mr. Right… I can admit that there are moments/days during this season of life when I have to remind myself that loneliness is impossible (I’m never alone because I always have a friend in Jesus! And, at the beginning and end of everyday, my heart belongs to Him)…. I can’t get tired (because perserverance must finish its work before I can be complete)… desperate does NOT look good on me (because I am a child of the Most High God. Royalty. Shoot, I have an intimate relationship with the KING OF KINGS.)…. And, frustration is not an option (because I remind myself of His promise to do far above anything I can ask or think in His perfect time).

Crave Love…

So, let’s leave the “in heat” thing to those barking little ladies with four legs and wagging tails! We crave love because we are obedient (delighting ourselves in Him… seeking Him first)… because we are prayerful (remembering that the prayers of the righteous render much)… because we are patient (and we know all about the blessing that lies in "waiting") And, because we are trusting God to know what’s best – and who’s best – for us!

Hey! What started off as an “uh oh” for me just turned into an “ah ha”!! Go figure!! :-)

Be patient. Be blessed. Be loved. :-)

The Late Twenties (Ah ha!)

On January 14, 1978 – a cooolllld winter day in Washington, D.C.– a lovely, young couple welcomed their BEEAUUTIFUL baby girl into the world. She was (and still is) a big old cry baby with a big old laugh who likes to have A BIG OLD GOOD TIME!! Do the math and you’ll figure out that was TWENTY-NINE years ago today. So, don’t ask me how old I THOUGHT I was… but it wasn’t until a couple weeks back when someone referred to me as a person in her “late twenties” that I realized (gasp) I am actually in my LATE TWENTIES. OMG!! Talk about an “ah ha” moment….

After the initial shock, I began to think back on my “early twenties.” My best friend recently called me a “soul-searcher,” so I guess I did some soul-searching. I went from macro thoughts -- where was I, what was I doing, how was I thinking, what were my goals… to micro thoughts – what trendy clothes was I wearing, how was I wearing my hair, who were my boyfriends, my favorite songs, my favorite hangouts, my homies…. When my “soul-searching” was complete, I THANKED GOD that my “early twenties” were OVER. I mean… they were FULL of great times, lots of fun and great lessons, yes! But, the woman I am today – the beautiful woman with twenty-nine wonderful years of life experience and wisdom… man! I would NEVER trade her in for that cute, young lady from my early twenties! NEVER!

So, in celebration of my twenty-ninth year and to kick off the series of posts that I’ll publish to my blog, I conducted a little survey (a mix of self-surveying and the surveying of others). The result: this quick journey down memory lane. TWENTY-NINE REASONS WHY MY “LATE TWENTIES” AREN’T SO BAD AFTER ALL…. (in no particular order)

1. Wisdom – Yeah, I’ll admit it. I was kinda dumb in my early twenties. But, my late twenties have seen me achieve brilliance! As my mom would say, I’m “as smart as a whip” now! With a college degree, a few years of career experience, several flat tires and countless life lessons under my belt… you might as well call me a late twenties genius who becomes wiser and wiser as the days go by! :-)

2. Priorities – My major concerns in my early twenties: 1) taking steps towards career goals, 2) having a good time. BUT in my late twenties, I realized that, while my career is important (a sista has to eat)…my friends and fun are great (work hard, play harder, right?), MY SPIRIT is what matters most. My priorities shifted. I gave my spirit greater portions of bread to eat (bread of life). When I was thirsty, I grabbed my glass full of grace, mercy and favor that was poured for me day in and day out. And, before I knew it… all of that bread and that stuff in the glass had my spirit growing like wild flowers! Thank God for ordering my priorities!

3. Beauty – Forget lots of eyeliner, long acrylic nails and revealing clothes, those were “early twenties” things. In my late twenties, I’ve grown into myself. On the surface, I’ve learned to embrace my natural beauty. I mean, the women at the M.A.C. counter are still my friends, but at the end of the day... I look like ME, not a little girl who’s trying to look grown. And, more importantly, I’ve learned that inner beauty is most important.

4. Friendship – Having seen many friendships from my teens fade, through my early twenties, I learned the importance of “true friends” – learned how to differentiate friends from acquaintances. By my late twenties, I had solid friendships that I know will stand the test of time! (and I LOVE all my girls to death!!)

5. Strength – I thank God for several tests that turned into testimonies during my early twenties. Through them, I have concluded two things: 1) life experience – every tough time, every trial – really DOES make us stronger. 2) But, even when we aren’t strong enough (mentally, physically, emotionally), God is MIGHTY -- that means He’s STRONG enough to “hold it together until we get it together!”

6. Intimacy – I was in the process of getting to know myself in my early 20s – what do I like, what will I tolerate, what are my goals, etc.…. At this point, I’m pretty far along in that process and can confidently say that I am intimately familiar with myself. Ask me anything about Deisha, I bet I have an answer for you! :-)

7. Style – I have my own. No more copy cat, trying to keep up with the Joneses or dress like every other girls on campus. If big earrings are my thing… and someone calls them ghetto, that’s cool. In my late twenties, my style is MY style… It’s part of what makes me ME… and you don’t have to like it, boo! :-)

8. Hurdles-Crossed – I may only be 29, but I have crossed many hurdles in my day! As a matter of fact, in my late twenties, my hurdle-jumping form is lookin’ pretty good (if I have to say so myself)!! I might get a little down every now and then, but hurdles ain’t nothing! We jump those every day around here! :-)

9. Consistency – Yes, I'm a little inconsistent when it comes to certain things; however, my late-twenties have come with an appreciation for the things that are consistent in life. My ride-or-die friends are consistently by my side – for better or for worse. My favorite Escada perfume consistently smells wonderfully! Atlanta is still hot in August. God is consistently good. Ahhh… thank Him for the consistent things in life!

10. Taste – My early twenties saw me listening to Lil Kim and Trina – reciting their X-rated lyrics at the top of my lungs with my hands in the air in someone’s smoky club. Craziness… In my late twenties, however, I’ve realized that we really should be mindful of what our ears and eyes take in. It can change the way we look at life. Taste something new. Check out India.Arie. Tune in to Praise 97.5 F.M.… your mindset will thank you later. :-)

This post will be entirely too long if I continue listing my “reasons why” with such long explanations. So… here are the others in short form (holler at me if you want the details): 11) fun; 12) confidence; 13) travels; 14) technology; 15) discernment; 16) success; 17) saying no; 18) the kitchen; 19) this, too, shall pass; 20) courage; 21) roses; 22) honesty; 23) faith; 24) I’m grown!

And, I just decided that these are THE TOP FIVE REASONS WHY MY “LATE TWENTIES” AREN’T SO BAD AFTER ALL….

(drumroll, please)

25. Children – In my late twenties, I’ve found that children REALLY are infinitely precious… they can brighten your day with a simple “hey auntie”… they are stronger and smarter than we might think… Whitney was right - they ARE the future.

26. Understanding – My late twenties have seen me develop a better understanding of life, death, love, people, myself,purpose… God’s plan.

27. Tomorrow – Little orphan Annie was right when she sang, “the sun will come out… TOMORROW.” Yes, Psalm 30: 5 is correct -- Joy does come in the morning! :-)

28. Heaven – Several of my loved ones moved into their mansions in the sky during my late twenties. So, I have a greater love for the idea that there is a Heaven! In fact, I REALLY want to go! I have a stronger faith that the streets up there ARE paved with gold… there’s no more sickness, no more sorrow… always “howdy-howdy” and NEVER “good-bye.” :-)

29. Mystery – A few months back, I realized that there is peace in embracing the mystery of what life has in store. Where a relationship is going? What’s around the corner? Who knows? But, there’s peace in knowing that it will all work together for my good!

Yep... my “late twenties” aren’t so bad after all. Now, I’m sure there are folks who might say, “my late twenties were nothing compared to my 40s or 50s.” There are others who can’t fathom the thought of actually being in their LATE twenties (it just seems so OLD). But, as for me… somehow I looked up and found myself not smack dab in the middle of my late twenties… but, I found myself hanging on to them by a freaking thread!!! So… while I can still claim you, late twenties, I LOVE and EMBRACE you! I realize (ah ha) that you aren’t so bad after all! :-)

Happy Jan. 14th to you… Happy Birthday to me. Thanks for checking out my blogspot. :-)

p.s. -- next week's post won't be this long, I promise! :-)

Uh oh!! He he!! Ah ha!! What’s this blog all about?

Fear…joy… realization. As we walk through life, we all encounter situations, obstacles, people or periods (whether brief or long) that leave us saying “uh oh” (a verbal reaction to fear or anxiety)… “he he” (laughter that naturally results from joy or happiness)… or “ah ha” (the exciting feeling that comes with a new revelation, epiphany, God-given direction or answered prayer). As I celebrate another year of life, I've decided to launch my blog – http://uhoh-hehe-ahha.blogspot.com/ – moving my online chronicle of “uh oh,” “he he” and “ah ha” moments from myspace to blogspot; broadening the universe of people who might read, be challenged… be encouraged… be tickled… be enlightened… be blessed by my point of view.

Quick side bar: Please know that I put a lot of brain power behind my little tag line: “a silly, single woman’s perspective on life, love… and everything in between.” I ended up there after some thought about myself and the unique, insightful message that I desire to share with my online family and the world. A silly (loud-laughing), single woman AND daughter of a man who lived with a terminal illness for seven years, I have an interesting perspective on LIFE. A God-fearing Christian woman who is NOT ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I have strong opinions about LOVE (God IS love). And, a conversationalist (talker, mouth-runner, whatever you want to call it), I probably have an opinion
or thought on ANY OTHER TOPIC YOU THROW MY WAY.

So, you can look forward to posts that cover a wide range of subjects -- from race and religion, to music and manners, to scripture and single-living… the list WILL go on. Yes, this will be the online home for my stories (and I have been known to have a story for EVERYTHING), thoughts and soliloquies that offer a silly, single woman’s perspective on life, love… and everything in between.

My prayer is that lots of people – men, women, college students, whoever -- will check me out frequently…. And, I speak commenting over your fingers!! LOL! Seriously, don’t just read! Post a comment! You never know who might be inspired by YOUR perspective (or what I'll have to say back)… so, share your two cents – are you feeling me? Do you totally disagree? Did you find yourself saying, Uh oh! He he! Or, Ah ha!?!? I hope so!! :-)

That’s it for the intro. Welcome to my blog, good people. Now for the first installment...